MEIN KAMPH beign in a desert for 18 loong years

 

Imagine yourself in a vast desert, the size of Australia, alone but with pieces of amazing artworks, internet, music, network signal to call your best buddy, learning facts which matter. You get to visit your best buddy annually who is a carbon copy of you which is wonderful as I have an emphasis on quality over quantity, I don't mind. It's a huge blessing to have one person whose 90 % like you and understands 100% of you, so even if you're in the desert for 360 days and get to spend only 5 with your best buddy it's okay for being in the desert for 300+ days. Those 5 or 6 days were like having the more than enough human contact to live in the desert. It is difficult to be in the desert but on some levels, it is bearable { by hanging on a thread of paper TBH }I thought I could somehow miraculously make it this time without it, obviously not voluntarily thank you covid-19 I know it's not nice to be dependent on anyone or anything, it is impossible to live like that as for human beings to survive and exist water, food, sleep and socialisation is needed so, it is absurd to consider oneself weak to be depended on someone in a way or another. Of course, it is easy to talk big like "we came here alone and we're leaving the same" anyone can talk big, from whom I have heard these "words of wisdom " are completely dependant on a person, object. I don't feel no guilt or shame for saying that I am dependent on my buddy for living in this desert, high on art, music and philosophy among other things which I am sure I am addicted to, I know any sort of addiction is not healthy. I don't wish to fit in with the others I am glad and proud for me being the way I am, instead of doing pointless, wasteful things [my OPINION I am entitled to have an opinion ] like posting fake, trash, "stories and statuses " for others to see. I won't say I didn't do all this I have done four or five years ago to mask the black sheep I am, not because I felt sad or dejected. It was because I was sick of hearing "why arent you on XZY ?" Since the time I can remember society has some boxes if left unticked, you're seen as a jew during the time of the holocaust, how the British saw Africans, it's utter bullshit [ couldn't hold it back ] some examples are. You have to be a chatterbox on cocaine having explosive verbal diarrhoea to random people I am seeing for the first time about something senseless which holds no value in the long run [can't give any examples as I never remember pointless stupid things]. Another one of the standards is having a group of "friends". the following words are not mine, these words are from the song if I had by Eminem 

"What is life?

Life is like an obstacle in front of your optical to slow you down

and every time you think you have gotten past it 

its gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

what are friends?

friends are people that you think are your friends   {1st thought ill take this part then I thought why not}

but they really your enemies with secret identities 

and disguises to hide their true colors

so just enough when you think you close enough to be brothers

they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

what is money?

Money is what makes man act funny 

Money is the root of all evil

Money will make them same friends come back around

swearing they always down"

There are various ways to perceive the above words one of the many ways to perceive it there is no need to elaborate the message is as broad as daylight. I am not saying there are good people out there who are true friend material, over here it is a minority I feel as this generation is selfish, greedy, narcissistic, leeches who live to feed off each other's money. Mainstream media has shoved down the throats of young impressionable minds that a lifestyle where money is the epitome of success where interpersonal relationships have no value at all, money means power to do and be anything, everything is obsolete other than money, more money more happiness, money is happiness, money will buy happiness, everything which can be imagined can be bought. It is easy to fall for this way of thinking, I myself have been having this same horrible lie as my motto during my adolescent years. I came to see the truth after having enough money in my hands to buy whatever it is that I wanted, I had about 450 dollasss in my hands with which I could buy anything I wanted, I could get the flagship noise-cancelling headphones by Sony which I have dreamed of owning since they hit the market, PS4 why not, new cycle sure, flagship smartphone if I wanted it, anything I dreamt of I could have it. Before I do anything even talking I think about it in my head about all the possible outcomes before actually doing [ this happens 99% of the time before I do anything] I get anxious about conversation as it is fast-paced and the number of variables and outcomes are too much to predict and act accordingly, this is one of the numerous reasons why keep I my mouth shut. I may be interested in having a conversation but it's overwhelming and draining so I keep dodging it as much as I can. I feel more relaxed and comfortable talking to a person one to one I don't know why talking to a group or talking to a single person while there's a lot of people around is a nightmare. If duty calls I can give a speech in front of people I seriously don't know how that works, maybe that's because while speaking publically I am conveying my message and don't just have to concentrate at the task at hand, less strain I guess. 

What I was saying was after seeing all of those scenarios in my head I had a dopamine rush for five minutes maybe then it was back to square one. I am delighted to learn this lesson now, there are some things which you can only understand when you're in that position, this was one of those things.

Back to the lyrics at hand what I was going to say was that the environment in which I was put in I didn't find any true friends I didn't leave any stone unturned [ stone which could be turned IDK if anyone will get this ]. It is easy to manipulate and control young minds through "social media" it is a nuke which many don't see, of course, there are various plus points for social media like how various artists are making a living out it by publishing their work in various platforms such as youtube some talented artists I have found are mixed up reckless, longbeachgriffy [he makes skits get ready to laugh until you snap your neck provided you don't have a heart made out of clay also try not to get offended ],                  Ernesto Schnack  { exemplary guitarist }, Rick Beato { musical guru} are a few I could name off the top of my head. My condolences for the youth for falling for the trap it is understandable why you do what you are doing its easy to follow the shepherd into the slaughterhouse, do whatever everyone else does not questioning why you want to do it, doing something with the time which you have to burn. Nobody I know does social media for fun after the first week. You go there to burn time, it would have been great if more people liked infotainment, it would have been win-win for them as they will be USING time and gaining knowledge. I am nobody to tell what you have to do or not do, it's your time here do what you please, just take a minute to sit back and think about what you're doing with your precious time here. You won't get it back, 80+ hours which you wasted[ in my opinion] seeing that rom-com tv show you'll never get it back, all the time you waste scrolling Whatsapp "groups" reading useless, feelgood "messages", watching wasteful videos forwarded multiple times. Precious time which you could have spent with your family which is sadly doing the same waste on the room next door. Precious time with which you could have tightened your bond with your loved one, have proper human interaction.

Getting back to what I was about to say was I have two friends over here one of them and myself are polar opposites but we get along really really well we have been great friends since the time I can remember we have been through many ups and downs, you never left my side I never intend on leaving yours. The other one and I do have some similar interests and views, he's a wonderful person, he's another desert islander like myself, most of the time what we do is complain and whine about how hard it is to be in this desert there is some relief sure. I am honoured to have a significant position in another person's life I will try my best to be a great friend and help. I am glad to have found you both.

When I started writing this piece I was very low, now that I have written I can see I am lucky to have three great people in my life. Even though there are two gems here every day it hurts that my best buddy is 300 km away from my desert. Thank you for being there always I doubt I would have made it this far without you being there. This is one of the many times I am thankful for the internet.

Thank you netizens for reading this lengthy blog. You know what to do with that comment button me stating the obvious won't make you write over there. Thanks again for spending your valuable time on reading these words. Till next time