Maybe it's just me, but I still can't wrap my head around how we all are being ventriloquised to chase behind pieces of paper, which inherently have no value to literally sustain life. I don't know the alternative, maybe it's making an X amount which can be invested or whatever economic magic that needs to be done to give you a sizeable interest which can enable you to live comfortably till your estimated time of departure. Maybe it's the opposite, renounce everything and set off to the Himalayas in the hopes that you will find what you have fantasised about finding in the Himalayas, no, I am talking not just about the herb. I am talking about that 1000-year-old sage who has been waiting for me to arrive after shattering my last straw on what I call the "system" of the snake eating its own tail, what you call the "modern" corporate "globalised" 21st Century Capitalism ultimatum happening on the third ball of rock from the sun.
From where all this is coming from, I wonder. I am pointed to instances where too much sensitivity to my emotions, coupled with the same amount of empathy, is a solid recipe for setting yourself on fire to warm others. Someone, somewhere, when I was a child, told me, "Treat others how you wish to be treated. We are all the same. Wouldn't you want it to be that way? Don't you think it's fair?" Well, that technically works in heaven, the Garden of Eden, and Kailash, and there is a slight chance of it working on Earth, too, provided the person on the other end also reciprocates it. The principle engraved into my soul ? I think so, as I can't undo it. The "what if I am wrong this time, they aren't like that, after all that has happened, maybe the dog's day is here". Somewhere deep within the heart is skewered with a cold icicle, with a whisper telling you, "you know it is not".
So the question is, will you accept that you are in a bad place, you have been, and by the looks of it, there's nowhere to go but down, or do you fool yourself into believing that what is happening around you is absolutely fine and you are overreacting to it. In a nutshell, clinging to the hair-thin line of hope, the hope which gives you confidence that you will wake up after going to bed tonight, the hope that you will reach work and back home without any hiccups. What's the alternative perspective, the exact opposite? The rest I will leave to your imagination.
We are all just trying to make or find order in the chaos, but it is not there. To compensate, we create our own laws and rules, gaslight ourselves and scream into our own massive echochambers. The pain of existence is to the extent that all of us are hedonists; some admit, some don't. People are judged and even prosecuted for trying to get the same dopamine hit that the judge, jury and executioner run behind, the difference being the path.
Is it actually possible to fill that hole in your heart? The last piece of the puzzle, that someone or something, the thing you have been waiting for / chasing behind. I was adamant that I won't search for someone, as people are people, they will leave you at one point. Sadly, I am human after all, and that search, more than a search it is waiting for it is always happening. Something like music, art of all forms, doesn't necessarily leave you or end, so I thought.
Humans are obsessed with the concept of 'escaping' reality; people consider the act of playing dead for hours or sleeping to be an activity they love to do. You are not seeing it, ask yourself why you engage in your favourite hobbies and activities. They are done to achieve a state of zen or flow state where there is 100% of your unwavering focus on the task, time ceases to exist, your brain is flooded with happy chemicals, and there are goosebumps all around. You are in a euphoric state; if this isn't hedonism, I don't know what is. We are all after Dopamine, Oxytocin, Endorphins, Serotonin and pieces of paper. Is running behind this till we're in the ground, all there is to life?
Pry Open Your Eyes
Before it's too late
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