The phrase "out of the frying pan into the fire" is quite intriguing, isn't it? We cling to that shard of hope that I'm not jumping into flames; it is fine, it can be a new beginning. We say all of this and more to ourselves so that we wake up every day and do what should be done, while the undeniable truth that you are in burning flames or you've leapt halfway into it is in the backseat.
Worry not; it pops up into the foreground from time to time, mostly when you are at your lowest, dead inside, inner flame thrashed, and as the final nail in the coffin, it completes the web of pain. If a sliver of that shard of hope is left, you'll still go on advocating that "better days are on the horizon", "it is all a test" and a lot more comforting sweet lies to mask the sad truth.
No matter how long you run, eventually you'll have to stop. Nothing is permanent. You can run from the truth that you've been dealt the worst possible cards you can imagine, and things can feel better if you come to terms with it. The more you deny and resist, the greater will be the backlash and mental disturbance, so come to terms with it.
The first step is fully and finally accepting the situation you are in, only then can you come to terms with it. Quite obvious, but anyway, the second step is to replace the torturous routine of deluding yourself with lies with the ugly truth. Not in a negative way, in a neutral way: hard at first [no sugarcoating] will remain hard; there is no other way around. The third and final step is to ground yourselves and stay in the current moment when tsunamis of hopelessness and pain come. What if you are already in a painful situation where, if you ground yourself, you'll be in even more pain? Then, think of all the wonderful memories that you have had over the years. You'll be surprised with the effectiveness of the third step.
When you consciously bring up a pleasant memory—or any memory, for that matter—it will trigger a series of connected memories to pop up. Do this with step 3 and you're golden. The end result of this can either be you being happy for a while with the reminiscing of good memories, another being sad that currently you are on the other end of the stick. Every dog does have its day; the only question is, has it happened, or when it will come in the future.
What I've come to understand after analysing my own coping mechanism is that the solution is countering the questions, which brings out the overlooked good things that have happened to you and justifies something bittersweet, as bittersweet is any day better than green apple sour.
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